Terrible bosses spread such misery in workplaces that their underlings need protection. Authors Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster ride to the rescue in an upcoming advice book, Working For You Isn't Working For Me, The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss (October, 2009, Portfolio, 300-plus pages, US$25.95). They suggest how best to cope with “toxic bosses” while regaining power and career satisfaction.
“...the single greatest determinant of an individual's happiness at work is the quality of the relationship between that person and his or her boss. When that association is good, work is good; life is good. When it's bad, nothing else seems right. A difficult boss/employee relationship will wreak havoc on an employee's work life, home life, social life and internal life.”
Flawed bosses indulge in loud bullying, unfair blaming, chronic buck-passing and much more. They “make the experience of work miserable. Their erratic or unreasonable behavior makes the people they manage feel crazy.”
“You may feel frustrated, misunderstood, unappreciated, constantly disappointed, angry or confused. You may wonder how your boss ever got promoted or why this person is allowed to hold a position of authority. You may wish that you could render justice and simply have your boss removed....”
Most people trapped in such situations react by sulking, obsessing, retaliating or even indulging in alcohol or drug abuse. “Very often, the more we resist or try to correct conditions using these tactics, the worse things become. And each coping mechanism comes with a price – a cost to you, your health, your reputation or your job.”
So what works better? The authors advocate a four-part plan:
-- Detect what's wrong;
-- Detach by accepting the boss won't change;
-- Depersonalize by learning to take the bad behavior less personally; and
-- Deal by forging and following a plan to manage the boss and lift one's own career.
“Dealing involves constructing a strategy for working with the boss in a way that works for you. To deal, devise a plan of protection that adjusts your expectations, addresses your needs and alleviates your fears.”
Bad bosses vary, so Crowley and Elster identify 20 types based on the behavior “that drives us bonkers” -- everyone from yellers, rule-changers and control freaks to pathological liars, artful dodgers and persecutors. The authors suggest strategy shifts for each variety. Much of the advice calls for seeking satisfaction beyond the boss's domain. A healthy lifestyle with ample sleep, exercise and good food helps too.
Rather than devouring the book cover-to-cover, readers must identify the type of boss who torments them and then focus on the most relevant passages. Some important pages tell what to avoid. Above all, “try not to take out your workplace frustration on others. Spouses, children, small pets and in-laws are easy targets, but not the real culprit when the boss is giving you a hard time.”
Crowley, a psychotherapist, and Elster, a management consultant, work together at K Squared Enterprises in New York. Respected as consultants, educators and public speakers, they have two previous books, also with wordy titles:
-- Working With You Is Killing Me: Freeing Yourself From Emotional Traps at Work; and
-- Going Indie: Self-Employment, Freelance and Temping Opportunities.
For people with competent, likeable bosses, Working For You Isn't Working For Me has nothing to offer and makes tedious reading. But for readers in the greatest need, it may save careers.
Approval rating: 65 per cent.
For more information about the authors: www.KSquaredEnterprises.com
(July 22, 2009)
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