Too much of a good thing easily spoils like sour milk. For readers familiar with Sophie Kinsella, author of the once-funny Shopaholic series, the latest novel, Mini Shopaholic (2011, Dell, New York, 449 pages) has a nose-twitching staleness.
Again, spendthrift Becky Brandon (formerly Bloomwood) loots her family's finances with frivolous shopping-mall searches for brand-name products, especially clothes. She can't resist. “But this is a brand-new, state-of-the-art discount shopping center with free gifts. We can't just drive past. It's... it's... wrong. It's ungrateful. It's against the laws of nature.”
If one justification won't work, she thinks of another. “Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.”
Does she have an addiction? “ ‘Becky, I'd like you to look at your hands,’ Nanny Sue points with a pencil. ‘They're shaking. Look at your fingers twitching. They began when we first saw the sign for the shopping mall, and I don't believe they stopped until you'd bought something.’ ”
Now Becky has a sidekick in Minnie, a toddler learning the same wasteful ways. Behaving much like Becky, the child grabs at desired objects and yells “mine, mine”!
Parenthood brings challenges. “ ‘Miiiine!’ Minnie wrenches the pony out of my hand and makes a run for it across the shop floor. Shit.
‘Minnie! Minnie!’ I yell.
I grab my carrier bags and leg it furiously after Minnie, who has already disappeared into the Action Man section, God, I don't know why we bother training all these athletes for the Olympics. We should just field a team of toddlers.”
Becky worries that Minnie's spoiled. “ ‘What are you saying?’ I can't help sounding hurt. ‘Do you think Minnie's spoiled?’
‘I'm not saying that,’ Luke says carefully. ‘But you have to admit, she's out of control.’ ”
At the Tick Tock Playgroup, Minnie indulges in regular “minor incidents” of squirting paint, glue and ink, but has yet to reach her limit. “Like a fireball, Minnie rockets into the hall from the kitchen.... ‘Ketchup!’ she cries triumphantly, and aims the bottle at Suze's gorgeous coat.
My heart freezes.
Oh no. Oh no, oh no. How did she get hold of that?...
‘Minnie, no. No.’ I make a swipe for the ketchup, but she dodges me. ‘Minnie, give it to me. Don’t you dare ---’
‘Ketchup!’ The stream of red is streaking through the air before I can even react.”
Seeing husband, Luke, under work pressure, Becky decides to surprise him with an unbeatable birthday party. “I look around the room, feeling my resolve grow.... 'I'm still going to throw Luke a surprise birthday party. And I'lll do it on a budget, and I'll keep it totally secret from Luke, and I'll blow his socks off.’ ”
Most people can organize a party without nearing mental collapse, but not Becky. Her endless desires clash with limited means. Then a London banking crisis erupts. “ ‘And now we'll probably lose everything. Everything.’ She shoots me a resentful look, as though it's all my fault.
‘Mum, I'm sure we won't lose everything.’ I try to sound confident and reassuring.
‘I heard a commentator on the radio this morning predicting anarchy! Civilization will collapse! It's war!’ ”
Even so, Becky's cravings for a big tent, dance-floor, fire-eaters, jugglers, valet parking and other party-attractions only intensify. Never mind that she may lose her part-time job.
Kinsella has overdone it, persisting too long with the Shopaholic series. Earlier she wrote Confessions of a Shopaholic, Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, Shopaholic Ties the Knot, Shopaholic and Sister and Shopaholic and Baby, all starring debt-prone Becky. The writing stays consistent, but irresponsible behavior gradually loses its humor.
Based in England, Kinsella also wrote The Undomestic Goddess, Can You Keep a Secret?, Remember Me? and Twenties Girl. Ideally, she should avoid more plots about shopping.
Maybe the materialistic Becky can't get enough of reckless buying, but most readers have saturation points. The author should cancel her leading character's credit cards forever.
Approval rating: 53 per cent.
For more information: www.bantamdell.com or www.sophiekinsella.com
(November 13, 2011)
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