Submitted by Kolawole Abdul
SCOWLING, the small-town prosecuting attorney tossed his diamond-studded fountain pen onto a writing pad on the courtroom table. Then he stood, surging to his feet so fast that he almost toppled his chair.
A crucial moment had arrived. After a dramatic pause, he addressed the judge. “Your Honor, we call Mrs Gloria Jones to testify.”
A white-haired, grandmotherly woman moved forward, prodding with her walking stick, and settled onto the witness stand.
Approaching her, the prosecutor asked, “Mrs Jones, do you know me?”
Frowning, she responded, “Yes, I know you, Mr Smith. I’ve known you since you were a boy. Frankly, you’re a disappointment. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about folks behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot, but lack the brains to realize that you’re only a two-bit paper-pusher.”
Stunned, the lawyer recoiled. Unsure what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?”
Sniffing contemptuously, she replied. “Yes, I’ve known Mr Bradley for decades too. He’s lazy, bigoted and has a drinking problem. His law practice struggles. He cheated on his wife with three different women.”
Both lawyers looked aghast. As they struggled for words, an awkward silence descended.
Thump! The judge hammered with his gavel and beckoned at the attorneys to approach the bench. They complied.
Leaning forward, the judge fervently whispered. “If either of you asks Mrs Jones if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”
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