Memoirs of an Ice-Cream Lady (Part 27)
By Emily Ho
Editor’s Note: The author runs an ice-cream parlor on Hong Kong’s Lamma Island. When time allows, she draws caricatures and writes. The following are semi-autobiographical anecdotes blending fact and fiction.
Ferry Fight
More than the only way for Lamma Islanders to reach the outside world, the ferries also provide a setting for quarrels and romances. Sounds like a “floating” bar scene, doesn’t it?
Once as Emily rode a ferry to the city, she heard some local Chinese talking loudly as if they’d rented the whole ship for a private party. A tall Englishman, unable to hold his temper any longer, yelled at the people in English.
“Can you Chinese please keep quiet for a few moments? I’m trying to read a book,” he shouted.
One of the Chinese responded, but in Cantonese: “What? Do you think you gweilos are the bosses? We have our freedom to talk. It’s none of your business after all.”
“You Chinese have no public manners,” the Westerner yelled back. For a few moments, he tried to resume reading. But all the passengers stared. His words had stirred some resentment.
A short Chinese guy in his late 30s decided to comment: “You, English guy, shut up!” he declared in broken English. “If Hong Kong people not work hard in the past century, sendin’ money to your Motherland, I think you probably still work at the coal mines, let alone readin’ a book.”
Suddenly, the tall English guy rushed to his short Chinese critic, raising a fist as if to hit the tiny man.
“If we didn’t take Hong Kong long ago, you Hong Kongers probably still would work at growing rice on the paddy fields of China,” the Englishman shouted.
A few nearby male passengers came forward to prevent an exchange of punches. “Calm down. Calm down!” People of both races spoke in their own languages to end an “historic debate” no one could win.
Stranger on the Seven O’Clock Ferry
(Poem written circa 2000)
Hey! Stranger on the seven o’clock ferry!
Everyone was looking at you,
Instead of the rain that was pouring.
For you came running in bare-chested
Just before the ferry door was closing.
Next to you sat a beautiful lady.
Well, that’s me who was still very sleepy in the morning.
Hi! Bare-chested on the ferry!
Do you need some tissue paper
To wipe off the rain that had
Been falling on your body?
But I was holding the tissue paper in my handbag,
Being too shy to say anything.
Then you started reading on your own without noticing.
“Hello! Beautiful lady on the ferry!
What is your name?
Could you tell me?
What is your phone number?
I want to call you in the evening!”
But that never happened
On the 25-minute journey.
Goodbye! Stranger on the seven o’clock ferry!
Everybody was marching
Like zombies to offices and schools.
I began walking while you kept on reading.
Stranger in the morning,
Next time please bring your umbrella
When it’s raining!
Coming Soon:
Slow Motion to Macau (more Memoirs of an Ice-Cream Lady)
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