Memoirs of an Ice-Cream Lady (Part 17)
By Emily Ho
Editor’s Note: The author runs an ice-cream parlor on Hong Kong’s Lamma Island. When time allows, she draws caricatures and writes. The following are semi-autobiographical anecdotes blending fact and fiction.
FAQs in the Ice-Cream Biz
Q: What’s the taste of your strawberry ice cream?
A: It tastes just like strawberry.
Q: What’s the difference between a cup and a cone?
A: A cup and a cone.
Q: May I have a bigger scoop?
A: A double scoop will be bigger.
Q: What’s the tastiest flavor?
A: Sorry, I can’t tell you which is the tastiest, only which is the most popular.
Q: Is the Internet free?
A: Yes, but not the ice cream.
Q: Why is it (or your shop) so hot?
A: That’s why you came for ice cream. You’d better have some more.
Q. May I have a free ice-cream cone because it’s my birthday?
A: You’d better ask a teller at the bank for money.
Q: I’m short a dollar. Can I pay $1 less?
A: Would a cashier at Li Ka-shing’s Park’n Shop supermarket let you buy if you’ve $1 short?
Q: Why is ice cream so expensive in Hong Kong?
A: Why is Chinese food so expensive in New York’s Chinatown?
Note: Most premium ice cream in Hong Kong is imported.
Q: Is your ice cream sweet?
A: ….
Chinese FAQs
Emily encounters peculiar questions in the ice-cream shop, but she also notices a few other questions often heard among the local Chinese people.
The most common one is: “Nei Sek Dzor Faan Mei?” Literally translated, it means “Have you eaten rice yet?” Since food plays a big part in Chinese people’s daily lives, it’s considered nice to ask folks if they’ve eaten, almost like saying “Hello”.
Another frequent one is: “Did you buy your own flat (or shop)?” In Hong Kong, almost nothing trumps owning property because doing so implies wealth. Many times, strangers have asked Emily this about her shop or flat, although they may have just met her for the first time at a friend’s wedding party or an old relative’s funeral.
A third FAQ is: “How much money per month do you earn?” Invariably, this arises when a young man first meets a potential mother-in-law. Sometimes the Hong Kong Chinese, especially older people, behave and speak in a very straightforward way. Maybe the mother thinks she can stop her daughter from making the biggest mistake of a lifetime – that of marrying a poor, young guy, like the mother once did.
One more question, a rather nasty one, often comes from uneducated, low-income mothers (si-laai, as the locals call them) directed to their unlucky youngsters who may have dropped a porcelain bowl on the floor at mealtime: “Why do so many people die each day, but not you?”
Some hot-tempered, desperate housewives yell this same question at their hopeless, middle-aged husbands, who may have lost a fortune by gambling on horse-races. Sometimes the question comes from pretty, young ladies, originally from Shanghai or Harbin, who married much older local men for money and a chance to live in Hong Kong.
Coming soon:
Trust and Betrayal Behind the Counter
(more Memoirs of an Ice-Cream Lady)
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